


Good morning

by epersonae



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Awkward Hookups, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Starblaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 19:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epersonae/pseuds/epersonae
Summary: Magnus Burnsides doesn't usually do one night stands, but yesterday he found out that he'd gotten onto this big important mission and he went out to celebrate, and he may have gotten a little bit drunk.





	Good morning

**Author's Note:**

> Started as a goof in the WDA, and well, it was too good not to. Not especially edited or anything, just a little fun something something.

Magnus Burnsides doesn't usually do one night stands, but yesterday he found out that he'd gotten onto this big important mission and he went out to celebrate, and he may have gotten a little bit drunk. 

No, scratch that. He got  _ very  _ drunk, that cider was much stronger than he was expecting, and then this incredibly gorgeous elf started hitting on him, and one thing led to another, and now, well…. 

He's just woken up in a strange bed, feeling somewhat worse for wear, but also, yeah he  _ definitely  _ had a good time. 

Magnus doesn't know many elves, doesn't know much  _ about  _ elves, but he'd always heard they don't sleep much. However, this particular elf — Tayko? — Taco? — is sleeping very soundly, snoring even. Which is pretty cute, but Magnus really needs to pee, and the arm underneath the elf is going all pins and needles, so he ever so slowly eases himself out from under him and off of the bed. 

His pants are: somewhere. Not right here. Ditto his shirt and jacket. Yeah, wow, pretty drunk. He looks back at the bed. Elf: still asleep. Not going to be able to ask him where his clothes are, or where the bathroom is. So Magnus takes a deep breath and pokes his head out into the hallway, where there’s two doors on one side, an open doorway on the other.

He makes it past the open entryway and tries the first door, and it is, thankfully, a bathroom in which every conceivable space is piled with stuff, but it’s a bathroom and honestly it’s a little cleaner than his bathroom. But it’s also obviously a bathroom shared by two people, which means there’s a roommate, which means he’ll have to sneak back quietly….

Except, when he passes the open door: a whistle, followed by “hey beefcake.” Magnus turns towards the voice, then dashes to hide behind the wall, just his head poking out into the kitchen. There’s another elf, who looks unnervingly like the elf whose bed he just left, except this one is a girl, with her head shaved up one side.

Then his pants come sailing into the doorway.

“Put ‘em on and come have some coffee, kid.” 

From the other side of the wall, as he yanks on his pants, Magnus says, “I’m not exactly a kid.”

“Sure, babe.”

He pours himself coffee into a chipped mug bearing a faded motto, something about “practice”, and sits across from her.

“No really, I’m the security officer —” He pauses. They’re not supposed to tell anyone yet, not until the official announcement.

Her mouth quirks in a smile as she takes another drink of her coffee.

“Course you are, big fella.” She looks him over appraisingly. “You treat my baby bro right? You weren't just gonna sneak out, were ya?”

“Baby?” They look like twins to him, but who knows about elves. 

“Twelve minutes, and don't let him tell you any different.”

He takes another drink of coffee. It's about as strong as he needs after last night's drinking. 

“Well, uh, I just got up to pee, so I wasn't gonna, y’know, not say goodbye or whatever.” He actually hadn't thought that far, but he didn't want to tell her that. 

She raises an eyebrow, nods slowly. 

“Okay, yeah, sure.” She taps her fingers on the table. “Okay, important question.”

“Yeah?”

“What's your favorite dinosaur? Don't think about it.”

“Velociraptor?”

She nods, her grin broadening. “Fuck yeah. High five me, Mister Security Officer.”

She's holding out a hand for him when the voice comes from the hall behind him. 

“Hey Lulu, even more to celebrate this morning — guess who got laaaaai —” And then it cuts off as the elf spots Magnus. “Oh. Uh. Good, uh, good morning? Mar – Ma – um – Magnus?”

Lulu, so that's the girl elf? Her smile turns a little wicked as she waves her brother over. 

“Morning, Koko. Coffee? Or I could make y’all some breakfast?”

He turns pink under the freckles and chews on his lip as he looks at Magnus. 

“Actually, I'm supposed to be at, uh, a thing this morning.” He gulps down the rest of the coffee. “I should probably, you know, get some fresh clothes.” He realizes he's going to be wearing a uniform today for the first time, the sharp red jacket hanging in the closet in his apartment. “But maybe another time?” He blushes as he realizes what that might mean.

Magnus and the elf ( _ Koko?! _ ) look awkwardly at each other for a long minute before Magnus slams the cup a little too hard on the table.

“Cool,” he says, finally.

“Yeah,” says the elf.

“Fucking nerds,” says the other elf.

They exchange farspeech frequencies, make promises to get together soon. Magnus doesn’t know whether to shake hands, hug, or just back away quietly, so he shakes hands with the girl elf before pulling the other into a quick embrace. Magnus whistles to himself as he walks down the street, trying to get his mind out of bed and onto his cool new gig.

* * *

Magnus looks at the letter for the seventh time, making sure he’s got the right building and the right room on the sprawling IPRE campus. Yup, this is the place. It’s a small windowless conference room in a long hallway of small windowless conference rooms. He’s late: not very late, but still.

He opens the door and six pairs of eyes look back at him. The gnome at the front — his new boss — is already well into some sort of presentation. He frowns and shakes his head slightly. Magnus winces.

The wince deepens when he looks at his new teammates: a greybeard dwarf, a middle-aged human guy, a pretty young gal bent over  _ two _ notebooks, and...a pair of elves, almost but not quite identical.

“Fuck,” says one of them, softly. The other grins.

“Hi, I’m Lup, and this is my brother Taako,” she says, clapping the other elf on the back. “You must be the security officer. Magnus, right?”

He blushes to the roots of his hair.

“Please take a seat, Mister Burnsides,” says the gnome.

Lup pats the chair next to her. “C’mon over, kid, and I’ll get you all caught up.” She winks.

“Lu….” says the other elf in a warning tone.

“Oh, wait!” She jumps up and switches to the empty seat, placing Magnus squarely between herself and Taako. 

The gnome lets out a sigh. “Just sit down  _ somewhere _ and we’ll get started.”

**Author's Note:**

> FWIW, I happened to see [this "incorrect zone quotes" bit](https://incorrect-zone-quotes.tumblr.com/post/170652220334/first-meeting-at-the-ipre-lup-on-the-count-of) as I was working on this, and absolutely had to incorporate it.


End file.
